Wednesday, 7th March 2007 by

Finally, after years of searching, we've found the Loch Ness Monster!

And the reason it has taken so long to find conclusive proof of the monster's existence is we've been looking in entirely the wrong place.

You see, rather than living in the ice-cold waters of Loch Ness, the shrewd dinosaur has opted for a sunny Australian sand-pit, along with her best friends the giant octopus and crocodile.